


He Stole My Heart, as well as My Wallet

by Pineneedles and Bowties (BiLLPines34401)



Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Author! Stanford, Bodyguard Soos, Burglary twins AU, Drinking, Entrepreneur! Bill, F/F, From Sex to Love, Human Bill Cipher, Human beast, I created this Au, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Retired Stanley, Stripper! Wendy, Sugar baby! Wirt, Sugar daddy! Beast, These twins steal more than peoples hearts(Lmfao), Thief Dipper, Thief Mabel, Thug Robbie, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-12 07:03:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5657110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiLLPines34401/pseuds/Pineneedles%20and%20Bowties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper and Mabel Pines were descendants of a long chain of conmen, thieves, tricksters and hooligans. Every Pines had seemed like a decent person, but deep down they were as rotten as corpses in a graveyard. And the only thing that divides them from their ancestors, is that they're at the top of their game. Neither twin has gotten caught, or has gotten anywhere being caught stealing or shoplifting. But no matter how good they are at what they do, it's never a good idea to get too cocky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Penny Snatched, Is Still A Penny earned

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this last night while having a drink. I was watching Gravity falls and the Boss Mabel episode was on, then I thought 'What if Dipper and Mabel were conmen like Stanley?' Then I eventually got to the idea of them being thieves, then thought out what everyone else would be. And this, is the conclusion. Hopefully you guys will like it!

 

_Fall was nearing it's end, cold gusts had knocked down almost every leaf to the ground. Leaving it covered in leaves of different hues of browns, oranges and even reds. And from a cabin set within a heavily wooded area, a blonde teen with hazel green eyes exited. He briskly walked over said leaves, each one crackling under his footsteps. He was unaware of this though, due to music blaring in his ears from his headphones. He sat down under an old Maple tree and began to sing-_

"Hey Broseph! Whatcha reading?!"

Dipper jumped in surprise when his twin screamed in his ear, sending his book flying across the bedroom.

"Jesus christ, Mabel. How many times have I told you _not_ to do that?" Dipper asked.

His sister counted on her fingers while Dipper went over to his book. The teen sighed and tossed his book onto the bed, then plopped onto it himself.

"I think it was eightteen."

"What was eightteen?"

"You asked me 'How many times have I told you not to do that?', and I just told you. Eightteen times."

"Why can't you go pester Stanley a bit? I'm trying to read."

"You're boring, Dip dop."

"Well it's not like I have anything better to do until later."

Dipper started to flip through the pages of his book, trying to find the page he was on.

"Why? What's later?"

Dipper facepalmed, and Mabel remained confused.

"How do you not remember? We're supposed to 'visit' your ex, Remember?"

"Oh yeah! I can't wait to tell Carson how much I missed him!"

"Mabel, no. We're supposed to steal from him, how do you not remember?!"

"Oh... I don't remember discussing that. Are you sure it was Carson we were going to steal from? Maybe it was Jake or Trey, or maybe even Ashton or Isabelle."

"You never told me you had a girlfriend."

"Isabelle was shy, she was so cute too! Can we go visit her next?!"

"Focus, Mabel. We are not going to visit your exes, they're exes for a reason."

"True, Isabelle was pretty controlling." Mabel said with dissapointment

Dipper sighed, then rubbed his temples as he felt an oncoming migraine.

"Look, maybe we can find you a cuter date." Dipper put an arm around his sister, and gave her a hug.

Mabel looked over to her brother and smirked.

"Maybe we can find you a cuter date as well!"

"Mabel, dating isn't part of my life style. I'm a bit of a loner."

"Even loners need company, you can't be alone forever!"

"Heh, just watch me."

Dipper let go of his sister, then walked back over to his bed.

"Well, when your done with that book can I read it?"

"Why?"

"Seriously Dip dop? I know it's a romance novel, I can read you know." Mabel said, pointing to the book her brother held.

Dipper blushed a little, then huffed.

"So? You would read far worse than this when you were twelve." Dipper said.

"Have you ever read fanfiction?"

"For the last time, I am not going to read Kellic!" Dipper said.

"Aw, donkey spittle." Mabel mimiced Old man Mcgucket.

Dipper couldn't help but laugh at the impression, but it didn't take long for him to start reading again.

"I'll talk to ya later bro bro. I'm gonna go check on the Stans."

"Okay, see ya." Dipper said, not taking his eyes off the book for a second.

Mabel chuckled and left her brother's room, slowly closing the door behind her.

"Finally. Now back to Vincent and Tyler."

Unfortunately, Mabel was within earshot.

"I heard that!" Mabel shouted from the stairs.

Dipper scowled at the door with his face blood red. Once he was sure his twin was gone, he began to read.

' _Vincent, you're one lucky bastard.'_ Dipper thought to himself.

Dipper looked at the illustration next to the page he was reading. A blonde teenager with hazel eyes, rested in the lap of his boyfriend. Who had black curly hair which curled over his left eye, and both were smiling.

"Heh. This may be great to read, but I could never picture myself dawdling over someone like that." Dipper said to himself.

He closed the book and set it aside, just to pull out another one from under this bed. This time though, it was a book based off horror and mystery. It was about a youg girl who had a veil, and was slowly descending into insanity.

"Where did I even get this book from? Meh." Dipper shrugged and started reading.

Dipper began to nod off, not even halfway through Chapter 1. He fell forward onto his pillows, sound asleep not even eight minutes later.

 

 _ _ _  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __  _ __  _

 

_Downstairs....._

 

Mabel was making some coffee for her and the Stans, pouring equal amounts into each of the three mugs. Stan's mug was orange with a question mark on it, Ford's was red with a pair of broken glasses similar to his on it, and lastly Mabel's mug was hot pink with a shooting star on it. She prepared each cup to accomodate each person's likes, Stanley's was strong and bitter (much like himself), Stanford's had a bit of half and half, with just a bit of sugar. And Mabel's had tons of sugar, creamer and half and half, along with some whipped cream and sprinkles. Once she was finished preparing the cups, she set them on a platter and brought them to her Grunkles, who sat on the porch watching the rain.

"This weather is terrible! Why am I even out here?" Stanley complained.

"I like watching the rain, it's soothing."

"Yeah whatever, where's our coffee?"

"Here it is!" Mabel shouted cheerily, then handed Stan his cup.

"Thanks kiddo." Stan ruffled Mabel's hair, making her laugh.

"And here's yours, just the way you like it!"

"Thank you, I'm surprised you have such patience with our old, needy keisters."

"Who are you calling a keister, poindexter?"

"Calm down Stan, you'll give yourself a heart attack."

Stanley huffed, then chugged his coffee.

"Where's Dipper at? Is he still planning on taking shots with me later, or did he chicken out?" Stanley said cockily, then took another sip from his coffee.

"I really wish you wouldn't give him alchohol Stan, he's only seventeen."

"Let the kid drink, he'll be eightteen in seven months. Besides, you drank when you were sixteen." Stanley said, earning a scowl from his brother.

"No thanks to peer pressure from a certain brother of mine." Stanford said.

Mabel gasped, nearly dropping her cup of coffee.

"Grandpa made you drink?!" Mabel asked.

"No! It was Stanley."

"Oh, that makes more sense."

Stanley rolled his eyes then headed inside, stopping to look back at the two.

"If you two want to watch some tv, too bad. I'm watching a Grandpa the kid marathon."

"Lame!" Mabel shouted, then threw a wet leaf at him.

The leaf stuck to his nose, and he looked down at it. Mabel and Stanford looked at him with big goofy grins, then burst into laughter.

Stanley went to go peel it off his face, then a bright light flashed in his eyes.

"Say cheese!"

Mabel continued taking pictures until Stan threw the leaf onto her camera lens, making Mabel frown.

"Now if you'll excuse me."

Stanley closed the door, leaving the two to look at the pictures Mabel just took.

"You have to send me one of these." Stanford said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Okay. Hey, Grunkle Ford?"

"Yes Mabel?"

"Me and Dipper are going out later, can we borrow the car?"

"As long as you guys don't get into too much trouble, at this age I can't really fight."

"Don't worry! Me and Dipper have been doing this for years, we've never gotten caught." Mabel said with her hands on her hips.

Stanford sighed, then looked back to the rain.

"I know, but all of that can change within a moment. I worry for you two, you know?"

Mabel nodded, then hugged him.

"We'll be okay, I promise." Mabel assured him.

"You better be, now let's go inside before we catch colds." Stanford said.

Mabel walked with him into the house. Mabel looked to her watch, then hummed.

' _Hmm, me and Dipper might have to leave soon. I wonder what he's up to.'_ Mabel thought.

 

 


	2. You break my heart, I raid your house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know it's been awhile since I posted, but I hope you guys enjoy reading this! 
> 
> Later!!!

 

Mabel walked upstairs and knocked on her brother's door. She crossed her arms and waited five seconds before busting into the room, she snickered at her brother who slept peacefully with his book on his face.

She crept up beside the bed and grinned Evilly, then screamed in his ear.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty! How's the book?!"

Dipper leapt out of the bed screaming, and hit his face on the hard wooden floor. 

"Dammit Mabel, I hate it when you do that." 

Mabel helped him up off the floor, then sat on his bed.

"So, are you ready?"

"Mabel, I don't even have my suit on. And why are you wearing you wearing your old prom dress?"

"I'm going to distract him while you gut the house, remember the plan dumdum?"

"Oh, I don't remember discussing that."

"I'm surprised you remember to breathe sometimes."

"Asshole."

"Chill it Dips, I was only Kidding."

Dipper rolled his eyes as he rummaged through his drawer. He pulled out his all black suit, along with leather gloves and a ski mask.

"Uh Mabel?"

"Yeah Bro?"

"I need to change."

"Ok dips."

With that, Mabel left her brother to change. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ten minutes later Dipper stepped out of the room. He was dressed in a all black bodysuit and only his eyes were visible.

"Next time we steal, can we wear the masks?"

"I told you that the purge masks will attract unwanted attention!"

"But I worked so hard on them! Please Dipper, please?"

"Ugh, fine. Just go get in the car."

"Okey dokey." 

Dipper watched as his energetic sister darted down the steps, then raced out the door.

Dipper took a deep breath,and before his foot could even hit the second step, he tumbled down the stairs and landed face first.

"Wow, someone's more 'graceful' than usual today."

Dipper glared in the voices direction, only to see his Great uncle Stanley drinking a beer in his recliner.

Dipper flipped him off, and walked out the door. Mabel looked at him confused as he climbed into the car, and poked the knot that had formed on his head.

"Don't ask."

Dipper pulled out of the driveway and took off down the street. Hoping that tonight would be worth waking up from his nap.

~~~~~~~~~

Dipper parked their car to where it looked like it was next door, and nodded to Mabel as she hopped out of the car.

Mabel walked up to the door slowly and knocked. She tapped her foot and waited for someone to answer, but when no one came she looked in the window.

"Dipper, he's not even home!"

Dipper cringed as his sister yelled. He shushed her then went around to the back door.

'Of course he's gonna go in the 'back door'.' Mabel thought, then chuckled at the innuendo.

Dipper picked at the door furiously with a credit card until the door popped open. He then slipped into the house with ease and looked around, deciding to go to the bedroom first.

He looked around the room hoping to find something other than a stack of playboy magazines, then something caught his eye.

It was small brown box that had a peculiar scent, and what Dipper found made him mentally rejoice.

The box had been filled with weed, cocaine and other drugs that could be sold for high prices. 'No pun intended.'

Without hesitation, Dipper stuffed the box into his bag and continued to look around the room.

He started putting everything he could find into the bags. Watches, iPhone speakers, a portable radio, and a laptop.

Dipper hoisted the bag and climbed out the window, tossing the bag to Mabel, who was waiting right below him with a mini trampoline.

"Seriously Mabel?! I ask you to do one thing, one simple thing like getting a ladder, and you get a trampoline?!"

"Trust me, it's totally safe. Do you know how many times people have done this on cartoons?"

Dipper facepalmed. As much as he wanted to tell back, he didn't want to go to jail. 

"Fuck it."

Dipper jumped, landing directly onto the trampoline and bounced off and hit the ground.

"I'm alive!"

"We can celebrate later Dipper, just one last thing before we leave."

"Hurry Mabel, the cops will get here  soon!"

Mabel ran up to the house with a can of pink spray paint. Once her pink masterpiece was finished, she hopped into the passenger seat with the bag of stolen goods laughing.

"He's gonna love what I made for him."

Dipper took one last look back at the house and couldn't help but laugh, and took off into the night.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 _One hour Later, Carson gets home_...

"WHO THE HELL DREW A PENIS ON MY HOUSE?!?!!!" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapter was so short, but I'll update again soon!
> 
> Bye!


	3. The Big Night, (Stealing more than just art)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night Rare and special displays are at the art museum, and the pines twins plan on going with only one intention. But will more happen then what they planned?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been awhile since I posted any chapters. :,(  
> I'm so sorry guys! Hope this makes up for the wait!

**_Across the town, none other than the Billionaire who owns the art gallery is preparing for the big night....._ **

**_\------------------_ **

 

The Gravity Falls Art Museum had looked it's finest, with Crystal chandeliers shining like stars, and even the employees looking their best.

And everyone had been honored, that Mr. Cipher had finally decided to show up to one of his unveilings. 

Now normally Mr. Cipher would have his right hand man, and butler Tad strange stand in his place. Telling others that his boss couldn't make it.

 

But once he'd arrived, everyone had instantly fallen for the Debonair yet extremely odd, Entrepreneur. But why would such a flawless man hide? 

 

"Um, Mr. Cipher?"

Bill turned to the shy employee, and quirked a brow at her.

 

"Yes, that'd be me. Please don't tell me one of the displays went missing again."

 

"Good heavens Sir! I- I wouldn't allow that to happen! I just merely wanted to ask you a question."

the brown haired attendant twidled her thumbs, looking a bit concerned.

 

"alright then, spit it out then. I don't have all day."

 

"If you don't mind me asking, where did that huge scar on your neck come from?"

Bills looked down in annoyance and turned around, adjusting his shirt collar.

 

"That is my business, and mine alone."

She shivered at his cold words, and watched as he walked away.

Just something about him was charming, yet when you approach him, you get a feeling like your in danger. But when people got a bad feeling about Bill, they'd brushed it off as nothing.

\----------------

(back at the Mystery shack, the twins are preparing for tonight..)

 

"Diiiiipper!!!! Wake uuuuuuuppp!!!!"

Dipper screamed when Mabel busted into his room, disrupting his peaceful nap to jump onto him

 

"Dammit Mabel, Give a little warning next time. Will ya?"

This only peeked Mabel's curiosity. And looked down at Dippers messy pile of Mangas and animes scattered across the floor.

"Were you fantasizing about your anime boys again? I bet it was Kaneki wasn't it, or maybe even Sebastian?!"

 

"Mabel! I don't fantasize about cartoons, stupid!"

 

"Yeah right, and I don't have a bunch of BLs stashed in my closet."

Not that Dipper didn't know his sister was a perverted fan girl, he just didn't need a reminder.

"Ew, gross."

Dipper made a grossed out expression.

Mabel giggled, then waggled her eyebrows at Dipper.

 

"Oh please, I know you've read the smutty ones~"

Dippers whole face turned red, and he attempted to kick his sister off the bed. But he forgot he was weaker than her, and got tossed out of his own bed... By his own sister.

 And that's when Stan walked by.

"Damn you kids, shouldn't you be getting ready for the big night? I already advertised some of the displays to a couple of my buddies, and Fords making the forgeries."

 

"yeah, I just had to get this lazy ass up. Beep!"

Mabel poked the back of Dippers head, earning a groan out of him.

 

"The unveiling doesn't begin till like seven, so you can back off old man."

Dipper got up off the floor and dusted himself off. (Well doesn't somebody think they're the hot shit?)

 

"Watch it Dipper, I ain't too old to kick your ass."

Stan glared at Dipper, poking his chest.

 

"Yes you are!"

Ford shouted from downstairs, the twins cracked up laughing as Stan glared at his twin. Who only shrugged in response.

 

After Stan stomped downstairs, he left The twins to get ready.

(Time skip, 2 hours later...)

 

The art Gallery was officially open, and Mabel and Dipper had their bag packed full of the equipment they needed to complete their mission.

and after dressing in some formal attire and receiving the keys and Forgeries from the Stans, they headed out.

 

Dipper would never say this out loud, but every time before a heist, he always got nervous. But with Mabel, she got this mischievous gleam in her eye. And Dipper was almost jealous,

she was always what he wished he could be. 

 

"Something bothering you Dip-Dop?"

She looked to her twin in concern, then turned to keep driving.

 

"I'm just nervous, I'm not good with crowds. Ya know?"

Mabel nodded, and smiled reassuringly.

 

"Don't worry bro, Well have fun! And who knows? Maybe even meet a couple cute rich boys.. Or girls~" Mabel mumbled.

 

"Mabel you know I'm not... Oh."

Dipper face palmed, as Mabel giggled.

 

Although it seemed like no time passed at all, Mabel had already arrived to the huge, glamorous museum.

 

"This place is huge! And Look at the..."

Mabel stopped Midsentence when she saw a girl with long flowing blonde hair, with a tight real dress that outlined her curves perfectly.

 

"I,I,.. Holy... Is that?"

Pacifica turned around and waved to the two of them, then winked at Mabel.

 

Dipper laughed as Mabel's whole face turned red, and earned a punch on the arm. And he whined in response.

 

"Let's just head in before it gets too crowded." Mabel said, and grabbed their bag out of the trunk.

 

"Now here's the plan, Your gonna go in through the back. And if anyone tries to come back there, I'll be the distraction."

Mabel said, tossing her brother the bag.

 

"W-why do I have to do it?!"

 

"You'll be fine, trust me! Now go on, the whole family name rests in your hands!"

She slapped him on the back, and then rushed into the building.

 

"God, I think I'm gonna puke."

Dipper had never felt this nervous in his life, but if anyone could rob this place blind, it was him.

 

"I can do this, I can do this."

Dipper repeated this mantra in his head as he picked the lock to the back museum door, shaking as he walked down a dark hall.

 

But seeing as he'd never been there, out of curiosity he headed to the lobby where Mabel had gone. It wasn't fair he had to do all the work, so why not have a drink or two while he was there?

 

As Dipper was mentally fuming as he'd walked into the lobby, he slammed into a tall man with black hair, and bright brown (almost red.) eyes.

 

"Watch where your going, you little brat."

the man said bitterly.

 

"It was an accident dude, chill out."

Dipper was then grabbed by the shirt, and yanked towards the man.

 

"Just who the hell do you think your talking to like that?"

 

"Hey Bernard! Long time no see!"

Dipper turned his gaze towards what might've been the most handsome man he'd ever seen.

 

He wore a yellow suit with a white under shirt and black bow tie dusted with gold glitter. And his blonde hair and tanned skin, along with golden eyes were captivating.

 

"Bill? Wait a minute, I thought these events were too stuffy for you?"

Dipper tried to wiggle away from the two, when he slammed into someone again.

 

"I'm sorry, but isn't it rather rude to show up not only uninvited to this event, and not even introduce yourself to the host?"

Dipper gulped. Shit, he was in deep now. Dipper tried to back away, but found he couldn't even move as Bill stared down at him.

 

"Aw, shy little thing aren't you? Don't worry, I was just kidding!"

 

"K-kidding?"

 

"Like I care who arrives to these dumb events, I'm honestly glad someone new showed up. But I can't exactly thank you properly without your name."

 

"I- I'm Mason Pines."

Bill smirked, and grabbed his hand as the music started.

 

"Well then Mason, Care for a dance?"

 

Dippers whole face turned red, and before he could even nod. Bill dragged him to the center of the room. 

Tonight was going to be a long night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? What'll happen next?  
> I'll update again soon! Ill try to update everybody loves Dipper when I have the free time, see you guys later! :3


	4. What the Hell is going on?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since I've written anything, I got all caught up on this one story on wattpad and a lot of family drama. But now I'm back, and I'm so happy to be here!

Dipper had still felt out of place,

his face burned in embarrassment as this stranger, this guy that he just met was dancing with him.

What was worse is that he was actually smiling at him, and Dipper was here to steal from him.

 

"Something the matter my dear?"

Dippers face turned even darker.

 

'How could he talk so casually to someone he's never met?! I think I hate this guy.'

Dipper thought.

"Um, it's just that I'm a little-"

"Embarrassed about dancing with a guy, a guy that in fact that you don't even know?"

 

"Are you some sort of mind reader?"

 

"Nah, I can just tell by how red your face is and how much your blushing. Which is awfully cute~"

 

"D-don't tease me in front of These people?"

Dipper didn't like the mischievous glint in Bill's eye. Great, he was probably gonna say something weird now.

 

"Very well, can I tease you when we're alone then?"

Dipper squeaked when Bill whispered in his ear.

Damn it Mabel, this is all her fault. Or was it his own fault for being the shy guy that people like Bill can't help but tease?

 

"Hey Bernard, there you are. I've been looking for you."

A younger man with dark brown hair and A dark blue suit approached Bernard, who was currently watching Bill dance with the awkward sweaty kid.

 

"Oh, I thought you said you weren't coming Wirt."

 

"I said I may or may not show up, you know how I feel about other people."

 

"Then you came here just for me? How sweet~"

Wirt rolled his eyes at the older man, and stood next to him.

 

"Is that Bill's new f**k Boy or what?"

 

Bernard shrugged.

 

"He looks like a geek to be honest, what the hell is a kid like him doing here?"

 

"Beats me. Weird thing was is that I don't even think he was on the guest list."

Wirt laughed.

 

"So what a dumb kid snuck in? You didn't seem to mind it too much when I showed up to crash your party back then."

 

"I remember that day, all I did was touch your shoulder and you acted like you wanted to bite my finger off."

 

Wirt put his arm around Bernard, and kissed him on the cheek.

 

"Why don't we go somewhere a little more...Private?"

 

"Really, now? Your so needy."

 

Wirt huffed and pouted. He hated when he was like that.

 

"Alright, let's leave then."

 

Wirt smirked triumphantly when Bernard took his hand, and the two had left.

_____________________

(Back with Mabel)

 

"I wonder if Dipper has taken anything yet?"

Mabel thought as she placed a couple paintings in the trunk.

 

Being as clumsy as she was, Mabel hadn't noticed to people had witnessed her stealing. So she'd knocked them both out and locked them in their own car.

 

"I could really learn to be more careful. Maybe I should go and check on Dippers process?"

 

"What the actual f*ck?!"

Mabel looked in horror,

there stood Pacifica. Staring in her trunk full of stolen art pieces.

 

'Shit! What do I do? What would Dipper do?'

Mabel saw the pole she used to knock those other people out, then looked back to Pacifica.

who was headed inside to tell the others what she'd seen.

 

Mabel hadn't had time to think.And had brought the pole to the back of Pacifica's head, then threw her in the back seat.

 

"I'm sorry Dipper, I'm so sorry!"

 

Mabel put the keys in the ignition, and sped off.

Hopefully Dipper would be just fine, he would be okay... right?

\--------------------

 

Dipper had finally gotten away from Bill, and had also snatched his wallet and golden watch Right off his wrist.

 

"Mabel, where are you?!"

 

Dipper had looked everywhere in the building, and he was at a loss when she wasn't at the wine table. 

 

"Maybe she's waiting outside!"

 

Dipper ran outside, and didn't believe what he saw.

 

The car was gone, and in it's parking space sat a note.

 

"Sorry bro, some things came up and I had to leave. I'll be sure to make it up to you, sorry.

-love Mabel."

 

Dipper glared at the paper until it went up in flames.

He was officially pissed.

He looked at Bills watch. There was still enough time to catch a bus, maybe he could-

 

"Hey Mason- Wait, is that my watch?"

 

shit, shit shit!

Dippers mind went blank, and he handed the watch back to its owner. He hoped Bill would think that he lost it, and be none the wiser.

But knowing how Dippers luck had  been so far, he didn't count on it.

 

"So, why'd you take my watch?"

 

'C'mon Dipper, think of something clever!'

 

"I was trying to lead you out here, so I could get away from all those people. I hate crowds."

 

Nice save.

 

"Well you could've just told me.

is there something bothering you? You look awfully mad~"

 

"The person I came with left me behind, so now I have no way of getting home."

 

What am I doing?! I didn't need to tell him that!

 

"Seeing as its late, how about I give you a ride. I wouldn't forgive myself if you were kidnapped."

 

Turn him down, just say no.

 

"Um, okay. I guess that'd be fine."

 

Dipper didn't know what he wanted more, to punch himself or to punch Mabel for causing all of this.

 

"Alright, just climb in and show me the way."

 

Dipper had climbed into the car, which honestly looked a bit old fashioned and smelled of cologne.

 

"Okay, go down that street."

 

Dipper pointed out, and watched in confusion as they drove past it.

 

"Hey, you missed it."

 

"I know a short cut, just trust me."

 

Dipper twisted his hair in his fingers nervously, jumping when Bill finally broke the silence.

 

"How about you cut on the radio?"

 

Dipper did as suggested, maybe he'd feel less anxious if there was music.

 

The song that came on was Immortals by Fall out boy,

And to his surprise Bill started to sing along.

His singing voice wasn't actually that bad, And If Dipper were to be honest he'd say he enjoyed the sound.

 

"Oh, were here!"

 

Dipper looked out the window, but hadn't seen the shack.

Instead, there stood a beautiful mansion. One even more impressive than Pacifica's.

 

"Wait this isn't my house?!"

 

"Of course it's not, you expect me to take you home after you stole from me? Hah! But seriously though, you gonna come in or are you wanting to sleep in the car?"

 

Dipper balled his hands into fists, of course this happened. Just his luck.

 

"DAMN YOU MABEL!!!!"


	5. Kidnappers Karma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to update as often as I can. I'm writing this chapter while listening to the song Homecoming King by Andy Black (He's so talented!) and I swear this song is AMAZING!  
> Hope you guys like this chapter,  
> Later my Baes! <3

  
Dipper had been sitting on a couch in Bill's lounge room,   
Contemplating how he would escape from this fine mess he'd gotten himself into.

"Should I run out of here while he's in another room? Nope, I'd probably get arrested for stealing. What if I knocked him out then left? No, I'd be in deeper if I did that."

Dipper was pacing back and forth, trying his best to come up with a plan that hadn't involved him getting arrested.  
But so far that was a fail,  
He'd been so caught up in his own thought that he hadn't even heard Bill enter the room.

"Something the matter?"

Dipper looked up at Bill, who was standing directly in front of him.  
He was so startled that he'd backed away to the very end of the couch, and slapped his hand over his own mouth to keep himself from shrieking.

"D-don't you know better than to sneak up on people?!"

Bill chuckled and sat on the other end, looking over at Dipper.

"I didn't know you were such a  
Coward, my bad."

Only two hours of knowing the guy and somehow Dipper felt like he'd hated him.

"So what do you want from me anyway, I mean I've got no choice to listen to you since you abducted me."

"Woah there kiddo, don't make me out as the bad guy! You are the one who stole from me,  
Remember?"

Dipper groaned in frustration.  
Maybe this was a good thing.  
Seeing as he'd have to tell Bill how to get to his house, he now spared himself of this guy knowing where he lived.  
But was his current situation better than him knowing where he lived, who knows? Surely he never would.

"What's with you being so quiet? Your creeping me out."

Dipper rolled his eyes, and turned away from Bill.  
If he was going to be stuck here, he was going to keep his mouth shut.

"What're you so pissed off at me for? It's not like It's my fault you're here."

"Yes it is! You f*cking kidnapped me! I gave you your God damn watch back so I don't see the problem."

"Damn kid, you should really watch that mouth of yours."

Bill grabbed Dipper by the collar of his shirt, pulling him off the couch and slamming him as hard as he could into the wall.

Dipper flinched and kept his eyes shut. He refused to look this bastard in the eye.

"Don't you know that you shouldn't mouth off to the wrong people? What if I had decided to shoot you instead?"

"I don't know, probably be doing me a favor. So the hell what I cursed, don't be such a bi-"

Bill kept his grip on Dippers throat, tightening his grip slightly in order to shut Dipper up.

"What did I tell you about that god damn mouth of yours? Don't make me tell you something twice."

Dipper could feel his airways blocked off, he started to feel dizzy due to the lack of oxygen and slumped forward.

"You give up kid?"  
Dipper nodded in response.

Bill smirked and let go of throat, allowing Dipper time to support himself against the wall.  
And that's when Dipper fought back.

He had swooped his leg under Bills feet, instantly pinned him to the floor by his throat and grabbing his knife out of his pocket which he held at Bills neck.

"Wow, I honestly hadn't expected that. I think I might even like you more now."

"Your in no position to get cocky, now let me leave."

"Nope."

"I swear that I will kill you if you don't let me leave."

"Well I mean I would but there's just one problem."

"What would that be?"

"Not that you noticed, but I have electric fences surrounding the whole mansion. And Seeing as My butler is the the only one who knows how to cut them off and on, they'll stay on till the morning."

"Why's that?"

"They're set up so that they cut off at a certain time, or they cut off if he does so manually."

"What time do they cut off?"

"Five thirty am."

"Shit."

Bill chuckled, Dipper gripped his knife tighter.

"We'll make yourself comfortable, it's not like you have much a choice. Now could you get off me please?"

He nodded, and jumped off of Bill. And then plopped onto the couch.

"So I have a question."

Dipper looked at Bill in annoyance.

"Why did you steal my watch, this time no tricks."

"The same reason people steal anything, now stop talking to me."

"Why so mad at me? You did this to yourself. And besides, do you think I'm really that bad?"

Dipper scoffed, and turned away from him.  
Bill loved it when people played hard to get, it made it so much more satisfactory when they ended up begging to be with him.

"You're stuck here for awhile, right? So why don't we have some fun?"

Bill grabbed him by the collar and yanked him forward,  
Pressing his lips against Dippers.  
_______________________________  
(Back at the House with Mabel...)

  
Pacifica's head felt heavy, and when she woke up she was tied to a chair in the center of a dark room.

"Wha-what's going on here?!"

She heard someone clear their throat, and was shocked to hear the oddly familiar voice of her childhood rival. Mabel.

"What is this?! End this stupid prank now!"

"I'm sorry Pacifica, I really am. But what would I do if you reported me to the police? I'd be ruined!"  
Mabel said dramatically,  
Smirking to herself.

"Look I'm your friend, NOT YOUR Freaking hostage! Now either let me go or I'll call someone!"

Mabel frowned.

"I'm afraid I can't do that. Friend or not you just were a witness, and I've already let so many of my ancestors down because of it. And I'm not about to lose everything that matters to me just because you were a witness."

"What are you even talking about?"

"Seeing as you already know my dark secret, I'll tell you my reasoning in full."

Mabel posed with her hands on her hips, and grinned widely.

"I am the infamous art thief of Oregon, Mabel Pines! I may seem like a sweet charming artist by day, but by night I'm not someone to be taken lightly!"

"What's with the pose? You look like a total dork."

Mabel walked over and stood next to her.

"I may be a dork, but that doesn't mean I'm any less of a threat!"

"For some reason after that whole speech and everything, I feel stupid for being scared."

Mabel laughed, almost so hard that tears formed in her eyes. And she grabbed Pacifica by the chin.

"Listen, if I let you go you have to promise me something."

"And that would be?"

"That you won't tell anyone about what's happened. Nothing about kidnapping, or stealing. Okay?"

"Why would I help you?! You kidnapped me!"

"I- please Pacifica?"

Mabel made her cutest face, her eyes glittered adorably, and pouted like a child. Pacifica groaned, caving instantly.

How could Mabel always win her over so easily?

"Fine, but only on one condition."

Mabel tilted her head to the side. What condition?

" My one condition is that you take me on the best damn date I've ever been on in my life. Deal?"

Mabel blushed, then squealed excitedly. Squeezing Pacifica and the chair she was in so hard that it broke.

"I'm off the hook and I get a date?! I'm so lucky!!"

Pacifica put her finger over her lips and smirked.

"But don't think for a second that You'll be the Dom. I'm always the one in charge."

Mabel was dumbfounded.  
Could this get any better for her? Maybe she should get caught more often...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what'd you guys think?  
> *insert Lenny face*  
> I'd say this is getting pretty interesting. But where do the Beast and Wirt fit in this story? Maybe I'll make the next chapter about them~  
> See you guys next update,  
> Byeeee!

**Author's Note:**

> What'd you guys think? Sorry this chapter's so short, the next one will be longer though. I honestly have no idea if this Au will gain popularity, but I'm hoping for the best.  
> LATER SUCKERS!


End file.
